she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
