Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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