Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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