we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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