Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.

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(616): View more from Michigan

The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off

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(919): View more from North Carolina

How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.

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(801): View more from Utah

He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.

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(+61): View more from Australia

You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?

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(510): View more from California

If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him

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