Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
40s are totally the cure
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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