Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
