So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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