just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize