I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize