we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
