I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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