She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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