Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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