Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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