he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize