it hurts more in the daytime
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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