Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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