Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
