Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
