She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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