Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
