so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
