I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
