dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
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