I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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