In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
