Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
