Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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