True but thats because hes a fetus.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
