I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
