everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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