if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
