so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
