I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
