paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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