I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
