How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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