Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
