I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
