it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
