Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hippo gnu deer
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
