Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
