he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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