Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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