he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize