covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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