In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
