I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
