the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize