im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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