just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
