i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
