Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
