meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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