how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
