that's an acceptable place to lick
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
