Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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