Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize