Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
