dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
