O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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