Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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