I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
